"Bathroom Thing"

employee benefits

Besides the “bathroom thing” mentioned previously?

"Tazer-Gun to the butt"

insurance

The company pays half of your health insurance, dental insurance and none of your "how long can you stand a Tazer-Gun to the butt" insurance.

"steal her Garden Gnome"

holiday policy by hr administrator madonna louise ciccone

Holiday Celebrate Holiday Celebrate If we took a holiday Took some time to celebrate Just one day out of life It would be, it would be so nice Everybody spread the word We're gonna have a celebration All across the world In every nation And take a pile of chocolate To Martha Stewart's House And steal her Garden Gnome And give it to the Senate...

"2 weeks"

vacation days

Employees start with 2 weeks

Get well soon.

sick days

1 week

There's a needle involved that will make contact with your skin!

tattoo time

Every other week as needed

"eat something"

wellness program

If you get hungry, eat something.

If you get tired, pull over.

"401-J (if you know what I'm sayin')"

retirement program

You can enlist in the following retirement programs in which the company matches a percentage of your input:

a.) 401-K

b.) 401-J (if you know what I'm sayin')